Vampire Vow
by Michael Schiefelbein

Now it’s been brought to my attention by several would be authors that managing to find a publisher who will publish your works if the main couple is not of the stereotypical heterosexual stock is exceedingly difficult. And while there are publishers who actively seek out homosexual works to publish getting published under one of them is apparently a death knell to an author’s career. This is what I have been told so I can not say that this is the absolute truth but it does appear to be the opinion held by many.

I have also read several book reviews for “homosexual” literature and most reviewers seem to be of the opinion that the genre is filled with trite fiction. After reading Michael Schiefelbein’s Vampire Vow I can see how people could come to these conclusions.

Vampire Vow tells the story of Victor Decimus, a former Roman officer who served under Pontius Pilate. Victor is a twisted character from the beginning, which will serve to intrigue and draw the reader in. He has an unnatural blood lust and thirst for violence, but the real attention grabber is the object of his affections – Jesus. Yes that Jesus. The one who walks on water and heals people.

Victor and Jesus met prior to Jesus’ firm faith in his Holy Father was firmly established and Victor was drawn to the young boy and ultimately fell for him. Needless to say, despite Jesus’ professions of love he rebuffed Victor. Victor than later sought a way to attain power to for the young prophet to his feet and was made into a vampire. Until the end Jesus refused Victor which enraged the man. For two thousand years Victor has enjoyed infiltrating the orders of the monks and priests of the religion that his beloved Jesus spawned in order to wreck havoc, death, and destruction. All in hopes of getting the attention of his lost love and to cause him the sort of pain that he has felt.

Now Victor is in a new monastery and finds himself falling for Brother Michael, but Victor’s lust for violence knows no bounds and after Michael falls prey to his anger an investigation is launched. It becomes a race against time and the law.

The idea behind the story is exciting not to mention original and rich with potential and yet it’s as though the author spent all of his creative energy creating the character of Victor, the doomed courtship of Jesus, and the exciting book summary because once Victor arrives at the new monastery and meets his first victim the book just nose dives into the dark waters of boredom. Victor, while a compelling character on his own and in the ancient Rome setting, becomes a laughable buffoon in the monastery of the Appalachian Mountains.

For a creature that is supposed to have survived for over two thousand years moving from order to order killing monks and priests he is utterly incapable of pulling off a convincing persona of “Brother Victor”. And how the other characters can just ignore the fallacies in his character is beyond me. Granted this is fiction, but there must be a core of believability for a story to carry it’s own weight and Schiefelbein fails horribly at this. A devoted monk that doesn’t keep the silence along with the other monks during the proper times, who states publicly that religion is dogma, and who cares not that one of the younger brothers he seduced is confessing about their activities regularly is hardly a believable and convincing character.

And if that wasn’t bad enough the plot and actions of the characters continues to spiral out of control for the rest of the book before being hastily slammed into a conclusion and declared finished. How Michael Schiefebein and Vampire Vow itself could be so heavily lauded on Amazon.com is beyond me.

I am agnostic so rest assured I didn’t like this book based on it’s supposed blasphemy, rather the entire time I was reading this I couldn’t shake the feeling that the author wrote this as a means to rail against the religion he was once a part of. Please, spare us. If you still have unresolved issues with the church than seek therapy instead of cluttering the bookshelves with trite garbage. Despite the fact that this was supposed to be a paranormal romance it was oddly lacking in romantic affections as every act between Victor and Michael came off as oddly stilted and lacking of any feelings other than lust, which was clearly not the intention of the author. Revision is in order sir.

The concept itself had potential and the character of Victor was the guy you loved to hate. But when Schiefelbein attempted to put them together, well the effect was very similar to mixing oil and water.

Congratulations Schiefelbein yours is the first book to earn the not-at-all honorable no stars rating.

Joana’s rating: