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Mysteria
by MaryJanice Davidson, Susan Grant, P.C. Cast, and Gena Showalter.

Mysteria, home to the Fighting Fairies!, lies in Colorado and was formed decades ago when a demon showed a random act of kindness to a group of weary magical settlers in search of a place to call home. The book is comprised of four short stories by two bestselling authors and Berkley Sensation’s “finest”.

National Bestselling Author Susan Grant starts the anthology off with her short story Mortal in Mysteria, and let me just say that if this is an example of what all of her works look like than I really have to wonder how she could be labeled a “bestseller”. Harmony Faithful, a preacher at a parish with a congregation population of zero, is the heroine of this tale. And let me just say here and now that the names of characters only get cornier from this point on.

It’s not surprising that, given what the majority of the inhabitants of Mysteria are, no one is a faithful church goer, really I would think it’s common sense. I mean truly, a religion responsible for the persecution of thousands of people since its beginning in a town full of people that are very much different and “other”? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that that sort of religion is not going to flourish in a town like Mysteria. Harmony is doubting her ability and faith due to her lack of ability to recruit followers when suddenly she gets a nice hunky man to appear in front of her. Lo and behold it’s Daemon (again with the corny names) the very same demon responsible for that “random act of kindness” that created Mysteria and who has been turned into a mortal by Lucifer as punishment for his “crime”.

Initially the story’s introduction was humorous, what with Daemon mouthing off to Lucifer and turning his decree of repentance into a song; R-E-P-E-N-T! But eventually the author’s attempts at humor become over the top and cross the line into the absurd and blatantly annoying. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this story truly set the book’s pace and foreshadowed what the reader could, or rather, couldn’t expect from the anthology.

Following Grant’s disaster of a short story was the less disastrous but by no means remarkable Alone Wolf by MaryJanice Davidson. The story tells the tale of Cole Jones a werewolf who has grown up and survived in the American foster home system. That alone seemed an interesting premise for the story, but in truth there was nothing really worth mentioning about this short story. Truth be told I forgot the events that unfolded by the time I got to writing the review and had to re-read it again. Why did all the details slip my mind? Because there was nothing worth remembering. Disappointing doesn’t begin to sum up this short story.

Next up was Gena Showalter’s The Witches of Mysteria and the Dead Who Love Them Here at last was some progress, sort of. Now Gena Showalter is an author who keeps showing up in my recommendations lists at Barnes & Noble and Amazon so I’ve been dying to give her works a shot. She, along with MaryJancie Davidson were the reasons I picked this book up after all. But I confess to not being all that much more interested in this story either. Genevieve, Glory, and Godiva are the infamous Tawdry sisters in the town of Mysteria. They’re witches and prone to trouble, especially it seems, Godiva and Genevieve. Genevieve is obsessed with Hunter Knight, a psychic vampire hunter (what did I say about the corny names?) who refuses to return her affections since he’s foreseen that loving her would mean his death. So what does Genevieve do? Act the part of a magical stalker, gulps down a love potion and get’s ready to stalk and seduce the poor guy.

And that right there was my main problem with the protagonist/heroine and the subsequent story. Here is a woman who has shamelessly stalked one man for years, who has been humiliated by him time after time, and has subsequently become the laughingstock of the town. Yet she keeps after him. Where is her pride as a woman? Granted determination is good, but after a while it becomes psychotic obsession. Hunter has foreseen that loving her will lead to his death and so he has determined that she is not worth his life. After he comes into contact with her while the love potion is in effect though he thinks differently which gives them the chance to work it out. Granted Genevieve didn’t know the reason for his refussal, which makes her actions all the more ludicrous. If a man can’t see the value in you then why pursue him relentlessly to the point of town-wide humiliation? Clearly the respect that is needed in a relationship is lacking.

The characterizations in this story were better than the previous ones I’ll admit this. But this wishy-washy heroine made me cringe and embarrassed to think that she possibly represents a portion of the population of my sex.

P.C. Cast’s Candy Cox and the Big Bad (Were)Wolf is an exciting and fun romp if you are in the middle of an emotional breakdown and don’t mind an overabundant amount of cliches and trite. Nevermind the fact that the character’s name sounds like a porn star’s screen name and that the title itself looks like a porn title. The story revolves around a forty year old woman named Candace Cox who is a high school English teacher at Mysteria High, home of the Fighting Fairies (I feel so sorry for the male students there). Candy has gone through five marriages and has now sworn off men, but after a magic spell cast by her friend Godiva, a young male werewolf is attracted to her. He’s drop-dead sexy, twenty-six years old, a former student, and the male whore of the town.

Apparently Cast thought this would make for a “deliciously wicked and naughty” story but unfortunately for the people who bought it and the souls who wasted their time reading this book it was anything but. The story was unbelievably predictable, overly cliched, and just trite. The sweet nothings that Justin croons to Candy are so corny and cheesy any real woman would have upturned a drink over his head or walked away in scorn. But of course Candy eats these lines up because she and Justin are just as empty headed and dull witted as the author.

Despite this book being labeled as a “paranormal romance” there really wasn’t anything romantic about these stories as they were far too ludicrous to be taken seriously. As for the paranoraml, really if you don’t keep reminding the readers that they’re reading fantasy fiction it’s easy to forget. If you’re considering picking up this book for the hot and steamy action that it is lauded to contain, don’t waste your time. I’m jealous really, it seems all those reviewers and fans that left the rave reviews read another book of similar title because this certainly wasn’t the same book I read. To conclude, I am truly glad I got this through a bookswap and that I did not have to spend money on this. This book did not fall short of expectations nor did it start off well and sputter to a stop. It didn’t even get past the starting line.

Do I recommend this novel? Only if you plan on forcing hardened criminals to read it while wearing a tutu or you’re just the type to enjoy cheap dime store romance fiction.

Joana’s rating: