As fun as the holiday season is you can’t deny that the drop in temperature does have the tendency to make you want to run and hide under your nice warm blankets. And honestly, if you’re all snuggled up and warm, why not pick up a good book while you’re at it?

To get you in that festive cheer you may want pick up Holidays Are Hell, an anthology featuring a collection of holiday tales from four New York Times Bestselling Authors. To get the holiday-ball rolling, Kim Harrison opens up the anthology with her tale Two Ghosts for Sister Rachel. The story itself can be read as a complete stand-alone if you like, but fans of Harrison’s Rachel Morgan series will be pleased to see another short story from her set before the series begins. The story opens up with Rachel applying to join the Inderland Security (I.S.) as a runner. It hasn’t been long since her father died, doing the exact same thing she’s hoping to do, and the disease that should have killed is still faintly visible.

Considering her father died doing his job as an I.S. runner it’s not surprising that Rachel’s brother and mother are none too pleased with her career choice. Within the first couple of pages it becomes clear that Rachel’s penchant for trouble runs in the family when her brother (Robbie) agrees to sign Rachel’s I.S. form, since he is her legal guardian, if she can successfully cast an eighth level earth-spell to call up her father who was wrongfully dead (read murdered) and get his permission. Oh yes, trouble runs in this family’s blood. Not too surprisingly, Rachel manages to successfully cast the spell. Not only does she give her ghost full substance, instead of the expected misty form, but she summons a spirit from purgatory instead of her father. Seems her dad has already passed on and is at rest. But a young girl is missing and the spirit that Rachel accidentally summoned was killed in pursuit of the vampire who just might be responsible for her disappearance.

It’s always great to see a character mature as the series progresses, but Harrisons’ Two Ghosts for Sister Rachel allows the reader the interesting chance to travel back in time to see a side of Rachel we never really saw before. We are granted with a chance to see a much more vulnerable young woman overcoming numerous obstacles in pursuit of her goal, such as her weak body and her over protective family. We also get to see all of the flaws that Rachel slowly over comes in the series come rushing back tenfold without the wisdom and jadedness that the character in the series possess to balance them out, which makes for a very interesting and different outlook on the events. I was particularly impressed with the story’s ending as it nicely concluded the story’s events but left the time from the end of the story to Ivy’s story, and later where the series picks up to the reader’s discretion. Nicely done.

Following Harrison’s tale was Lynsay Sands’ Run, Run, Rudolph. Such a hectic way to spend the holidays and it was, essentially, the result of a troublesome toddler. Children are definitely trouble. This tale follows the misadventures of Jill, the owner of a clothing store, who just wants to finish babysitting her brother’s toddler before hurrying off to play Mrs. Claus to a very sexy Mr. Claus in the town’s Christmas Parade as planned. Unfortunately for her, an old colleague of her brother’s is back in town and looking to finish the project that was called off and in his rather twisted mind, Jill will be the perfect lab rat for him to conduct his experiments on. Years back, Jill’s brother Kyle and his wife Claire were working on creating a molecular destabilizer, and had essentially completed it when a fellow colleague, John Heathcliffe, decided to turn the machine on Kyle’s wife so that they might have a human specimen to study. While attempting to rescue her from the beam of the molecular destabilizer, Kyle was also zapped in the process.

The project was ultimately scrapped, and in an attempt to protect his wife and child, as well as himself, Kyle stated the project was a failure, because in all likely hood his family would have been locked away as specimens if the truth had come out. You see, it turns out that when a person is hit with the beam they gain a pretty handy ability, the ability to change their body and shape into whatever they will it to be. Claire stumbled onto this ability by chance when she found herself one day looking at a magazine and wishing that she could look more like the model featured. Her body changed to match that of the model’s appearance, including the model’s clothes.

While watching over Claire and Kyle’s daughter Beth, Jill is lured into the basement where Kyle has been reconstructing the molecular destabilizer in an attempt to better understand the changes and possible side affects of their condition. While attempting to grab Beth, who had crawled behind the machine, Jill is hit with the beam and knocked unconscious. As she’s leaving her brother’s house Jill finds out that the events were orchestrated by John Heathcliffe himself who wants to take Jill away for further study. What results is a comical and exciting chase through the city as a shape shifting Jill and her “Mr. Claus” Nick, who is kindly gifted with the moniker of “Mr. Gay Shoes” by Jill’s brother, attempt to allude and escape this mad loon while their own relationship continues to build.

The tale is exceptionally well written and executed flawlessly, but one thing bothered me greatly about this story which kept me from enjoying it fully. What on earth was it doing in this collection? Holidays Are Hell is supposed to be a collection of horror stories by renown paranormal romance authors. A holiday treat of witches, goblins, vampires, and other things that go bump in the night. So what is a Sci-Fi tale doing alongside these works? If I tuned in for a television marathon of the best episodes from comedic horror sitcoms I certainly would not expect to see episodes of The Bionic Woman nestled alongside episodes of The Munsters and The Addams Family. Why was this tale included in this anthology? Yes, Jill is a shape shifter, however this ability is gained from purely scientific means without any other mention or allusion to the paranormal. Mystique, a comic book character from the X-Men universe, shares the same ability as Jill and yet no one would think a story revolving around Mystique belonged in the horror section alongside Kim Harrison’s Rachel Morgan series or Carrie Vaughn’s Kitty Norville series.

The story was exciting and entertaining, no doubt about that, but it simply did not belong in this collection.

Next in the anthology was Majorie M. Liu’s Six. Although I had heard and read good reviews about Liu’s work I had never actually read anything by the author until today. Liu’s tale made purchasing this anthology well worth it. Indeed I enjoyed Harrison’s contribution, and would have bought this book for her short story regardless, and even though I did enjoy the contributions of Sands and to an extent Pettersson, Liu’s Six was the real eye opener of this collection. An amazing short tale that left me wanting more, more adventures from the characters and more of the author’s signature style.

The tale revolves around Six, a proud woman and a member of the prestigious and downright scary squad 12. She has been trained, since a young age, in combat and weaponry, so that fighting would be as natural as breathing for her. Six is a part of the Chinese military and works to bring down terrorists and other nasty crime figures. Her strong sense of duty combined with the freedom of action that government officials have in China has given Six an abundant amount of confidence in her abilities, as well as the others working alongside her, to bring down whoever stands in their way.

This proud and strong warrior is thrown for quite the loop when an undercover operation blows up in her face and her target turns into a vampire of all things. Liu’s story only gets better at this point, instead of your typical “good looking and insanely powerful” vampires that the fiction world has begun to assume is the norm, Liu delivers a different sort of monster that borrow from Asian folklore more than Western which results in vampires that are very much as powerful as they are scary looking and blood curdling. To top it all off, Six herself becomes infected.

After the first couple of pages of this story I had high expectations for the heroine, a strong female character on a path of self discovery who did not feel the need to whine incessantly or deny what was right in front of her face (very refreshing!) and Liu did not disappoint me in the least. Necromancers, vampires, and terrorist cells all teaming up to throw a country into chaos. This is an action packed tale that will keep you ensnared until the very last page has been turned and the last word read. I strongly recommend picking up this anthology, this tale alone will make it well worth your while.

Wrapping up the collection was Vicki Pettersson’s The Harvest, which is set in the same universe as her “Sign of the Zodiac” series but is a prequel to the series’ main story. The story is told from the point of view of Zoe, Joanna Archer’s mother. At the age of sixteen, Joanna was assaulted and left to die in the desert of Nevada. In this story we are given the chance to see the events that followed immediately after she was forced to give up her baby and all from the point of view of her mother.

Despite this rare chance, I found myself disinterested with the story after the first ten pages and then quickly skimming over the rest. While the story itself held promise and an interesting plot, the author just failed at drawing in her reader’s interest and holding it. This is the exact same problem I’ve been faced with when reading her Zodiac series. An interesting and exciting plot, but the writing style of the author takes away from the story itself and leaves reading, what should by all rights be a fantastic tale, feeling like a chore. I had hoped that this would not be the case with her short story, but alas I was wrong.

If you’re a fan of Petterssons’ Zodiac series I recommend you still read it as it does give interesting insight into Zoe’s actions and sets the pace for the series, but this contribution was definately the weakest of the four.

Over all, this anthology is probably one of the better ones I’ve read lately. The stories share a common thread, and aside from Pettersson’s, they all forced me to set things aside until the last page of the individual tales had been turned. The only reason I didn’t get this review out sooner, was sadly, because of Pettersson’s The Harvest I just could not get into that story at all and eventually had to resort to skimming to get through it.

Joana’s rating: (3 out of 5 stars)

A Cannibal Yankee in Queen Clinton’s Court is a collection of poetry and short stories from the mind of Bryan DiTolvo. The book opens up with an interesting quote from Adolf Hitler but a less than interesting let alone remarkable one from actress Tuesday Knight.

The first selection in the book, denoted as “Introduction” is laid out in television script form and seems more like a joke than a serious attempt at writing. Considering the importance of first impressions I thought the placement, and overall addition of this selection, into the work was poorly done. I confess that after reading that I was rather hesitant to click on the next page. I think it prudent that I mention that the version of this work I read was a .PDF version that was supplied by the author himself. As such, my copy of this work may differ in layout and design from the version that you, the readers, will read.

Now one thing that threw me off and distracted me a bit was the lack of a table of contents with each work’s title and page location listed. In fact the complete lack of titles, aside from their numerical placement, for the individual works was rather disconcerting as it gave the impression of everything being connected, and while some pieces did feature characters who made reappearances or the individual pieces tied in nicely to the following piece, that wasn’t always necessarily the case. The author did allow for some white space after each work to signify the start of a new piece however which helped.

Many of the short stories featured in DiTolvo’s work would be more accurately described as drabbles as they are exceptionally short. While the writing and imagery in these drabbeles is not only outstanding and engaging the length, or rather lack there of, detracts from the piece. On numerous occasions I found myself really getting into the short story only to come to an abrupt end that left me wondering how I had come to the end of the track already when it had only just begun. It almost appeared as though the author was afraid to let these individual tales go on too long, a fear I believe he shouldn’t have.

Ironically enough, DiTolvo pokes fun of his short stories in “Fifty” where he and another character discuss his previous collection The Girl With the Lampshade Eyes.

“The stories are too short, though. Most people aren’t into reading stories that only span a page and a half” (p63).

I do not believe it’s so much that people “aren’t into” reading such short stories, rather that these extra-short stories do not always allow readers to feel as though they have gotten real insight and understand for the story. In the fan fiction community “drabbles”, which is what most would call DiTolvo’s short stories, work well because the readers already have the basic knowledge of the personality of the characters and the events in the series. So exceptionally short pieces, while sometimes disappointing, can be better appreciated and do not necessarily leave the readers feeling as though they were shorted or missed something.

That is not to say that I did not enjoy the short stories featured in A Cannibal Yankee in Queen Clinton‘s Court, merely that I would have liked to see them fleshed out a bit more. One particular short story, which I have since memorized, “Six”, is a little piece told from the point of view of a character named David St. Avis. I believe the reason why I liked this piece, and several of DiTolvo’s other selections, is because I could relate to them nicely.

My name is David St. Avis. I am twenty-nine years old and I work as a closer for Wendy’s. That means I go in at 4pm and stay until around midnight, working dinner rush and closing down the restaurant. A closer. Take the C from that word and that’s what I feel like every time I put my uniform on. Can I take your order, please?

I certainly was never a closer at Wendy’s, I don’t even eat there, but I have held less than desirable job positions, as I’m sure many others have, in my life and despite the shortness of the piece I was instantly able to connect with the character and empathize with him as well. To draw a reader in and have said reader instantly draw connections with the story at hand and their own life in such a short passage takes remarkable skill, a skill which DiTolvo demonstrates. I cannot however say the same for the passages written in script format, those just came off severely bland

While some aspects of DiTolvo’s short stories equally impressed and disappointed me I have to confess to finding no real fault with the poetry contained in the collection. Each poem was carefully constructed and nestled between short stories, sometimes even seeming to tie into its neighbors. There was not a single poem amongst the collection that I disliked, a fact that still startles me, and there were numerous which I would term my “favorites” (One, Five, Eighteen, Thirty-five). Number “Twenty” however stood out and called to me the most:

Everything I ever had
was something that you found.
You have the gift of soothing me
without a touch or sound.

Your midnight mansion answers me
and calmly lets me in.
Inside your home all pain is gone.
Inside there is no sin.

The look of pleasure on your face
by grace, elated me.
To see your soul so full
of love’s delight enlightens me.

Over all, reading A Cannibal Yankee in Queen Clinton’s Court was akin to wandering through a dream. There were the moments where events and happenings were befuddling to the reader, likewise there were also moments of crystal sharp clarity. It was an enjoyable trip for not only the mind but the senses as well. As happens in most collections, there were several individual pieces that I thought shined well above the rest and some that I thought it would have been better to have left them out. Pretty much, I think DiTolvo could have left out all of the pieces done in script format (or written them in a different manner for that matter) and this collection would have been the better for it.

Joana’s rating: (3 out of 5 stars)

On the Prowl is a collection of four different stories by four well known paranormal romance authors. The first story in the anthology, entitled Alpha and Omega by New York Times Bestselling Author Patricia Briggs, is a side story that is set during the events of the first book in her Mercy Thompson series, Moon Called.

The short story offers a great deal of insight into one of the less explored characters mentioned in the Mercy Thompson series, Charles. Charles is the son of Bran, the Marrok and leader of the werewolves. Due to troubling events that have unfolded in Chicago, Bran sends Charles in to get to the bottom of the issues with the Chicago wolf pack and to protect the young wolf who brought the danger to the Marrok’s attention. For those who have already read Moon Called you’ll be treated to the first hand events that had to be glossed over in the novel as well as some more of Brigg’s excellent story telling and character design. For those that have not read Moon Called before, do not fret, Briggs manages to tell a tale that not only incorporates enough of the need to know information without spoiling the events of Moon Called while weaving a short story fully capable of being read and taken on its own.

The second story in this anthology is Eileen Wilks’ Inhuman. I had a very difficult time getting into this story. Perhaps it was because of the way it was started off, with the characters already so comfortable with each other and speaking of things I had no knowledge of, but I honestly felt like the newcomer at a party who has stumbled upon a circle of friends and has no idea what they’re talking about. This feeling never truly dissipated and upon the story’s conclusion I couldn’t help but feel that there was a lot I just didn’t understand and missed out on. That feeling returned anew when I read Sunny’s Mona Lisa Betwining.

Mona Lisa Betwining is an excerpt from Sunny’s Mona Lisa series, a series which I have yet to read. There are many references to events that fail to make sense and are not truly explained either. However, the excerpt did succeed in perking my interest in the story to an extent. The story almost feels like Laurell K Hamilton’s Meredith Gentry series, but to a lesser extent.

In Karen Chance’s Buying Trouble we are introduced to a young woman who is not all that she appears to be. She has a gift that would make her a powerful weapon for any seeking to conquer an enemy and to he shock she is betrayed by her employer and put up for auction. With the help of a Fey Lord she escapes and together they embark on a rather interesting tale of self discovery and adventure. Chance manages to throw quite a few interesting twists and turns in this tale that will have any fantasy lover (especially dragon and fairy fans) oohing over the events.

In this novella Chance manages to create a world that will suck the reader in and keep them entrenched until the very end. And yet, the reader does not leave feeling cheated or slighted in the least, but content at where things end, which is something you don’t see very often.

While I was, for the most part, disappointed with the contributions of Eileen Wilks and Sunny, Karen Chance did not disappoint and between her and Patricia Briggs’ stories I feel that this anthology is definately worth purchasing, if only to own these two short stories.

Joana’s rating:

Mysteria, home to the Fighting Fairies!, lies in Colorado and was formed decades ago when a demon showed a random act of kindness to a group of weary magical settlers in search of a place to call home. The book is comprised of four short stories by two bestselling authors and Berkley Sensation’s “finest”.

National Bestselling Author Susan Grant starts the anthology off with her short story Mortal in Mysteria, and let me just say that if this is an example of what all of her works look like than I really have to wonder how she could be labeled a “bestseller”. Harmony Faithful, a preacher at a parish with a congregation population of zero, is the heroine of this tale. And let me just say here and now that the names of characters only get cornier from this point on.

It’s not surprising that, given what the majority of the inhabitants of Mysteria are, no one is a faithful church goer, really I would think it’s common sense. I mean truly, a religion responsible for the persecution of thousands of people since its beginning in a town full of people that are very much different and “other”? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that that sort of religion is not going to flourish in a town like Mysteria. Harmony is doubting her ability and faith due to her lack of ability to recruit followers when suddenly she gets a nice hunky man to appear in front of her. Lo and behold it’s Daemon (again with the corny names) the very same demon responsible for that “random act of kindness” that created Mysteria and who has been turned into a mortal by Lucifer as punishment for his “crime”.

Initially the story’s introduction was humorous, what with Daemon mouthing off to Lucifer and turning his decree of repentance into a song; R-E-P-E-N-T! But eventually the author’s attempts at humor become over the top and cross the line into the absurd and blatantly annoying. I didn’t realize it at the time, but this story truly set the book’s pace and foreshadowed what the reader could, or rather, couldn’t expect from the anthology.

Following Grant’s disaster of a short story was the less disastrous but by no means remarkable Alone Wolf by MaryJanice Davidson. The story tells the tale of Cole Jones a werewolf who has grown up and survived in the American foster home system. That alone seemed an interesting premise for the story, but in truth there was nothing really worth mentioning about this short story. Truth be told I forgot the events that unfolded by the time I got to writing the review and had to re-read it again. Why did all the details slip my mind? Because there was nothing worth remembering. Disappointing doesn’t begin to sum up this short story.

Next up was Gena Showalter’s The Witches of Mysteria and the Dead Who Love Them Here at last was some progress, sort of. Now Gena Showalter is an author who keeps showing up in my recommendations lists at Barnes & Noble and Amazon so I’ve been dying to give her works a shot. She, along with MaryJancie Davidson were the reasons I picked this book up after all. But I confess to not being all that much more interested in this story either. Genevieve, Glory, and Godiva are the infamous Tawdry sisters in the town of Mysteria. They’re witches and prone to trouble, especially it seems, Godiva and Genevieve. Genevieve is obsessed with Hunter Knight, a psychic vampire hunter (what did I say about the corny names?) who refuses to return her affections since he’s foreseen that loving her would mean his death. So what does Genevieve do? Act the part of a magical stalker, gulps down a love potion and get’s ready to stalk and seduce the poor guy.

And that right there was my main problem with the protagonist/heroine and the subsequent story. Here is a woman who has shamelessly stalked one man for years, who has been humiliated by him time after time, and has subsequently become the laughingstock of the town. Yet she keeps after him. Where is her pride as a woman? Granted determination is good, but after a while it becomes psychotic obsession. Hunter has foreseen that loving her will lead to his death and so he has determined that she is not worth his life. After he comes into contact with her while the love potion is in effect though he thinks differently which gives them the chance to work it out. Granted Genevieve didn’t know the reason for his refussal, which makes her actions all the more ludicrous. If a man can’t see the value in you then why pursue him relentlessly to the point of town-wide humiliation? Clearly the respect that is needed in a relationship is lacking.

The characterizations in this story were better than the previous ones I’ll admit this. But this wishy-washy heroine made me cringe and embarrassed to think that she possibly represents a portion of the population of my sex.

P.C. Cast’s Candy Cox and the Big Bad (Were)Wolf is an exciting and fun romp if you are in the middle of an emotional breakdown and don’t mind an overabundant amount of cliches and trite. Nevermind the fact that the character’s name sounds like a porn star’s screen name and that the title itself looks like a porn title. The story revolves around a forty year old woman named Candace Cox who is a high school English teacher at Mysteria High, home of the Fighting Fairies (I feel so sorry for the male students there). Candy has gone through five marriages and has now sworn off men, but after a magic spell cast by her friend Godiva, a young male werewolf is attracted to her. He’s drop-dead sexy, twenty-six years old, a former student, and the male whore of the town.

Apparently Cast thought this would make for a “deliciously wicked and naughty” story but unfortunately for the people who bought it and the souls who wasted their time reading this book it was anything but. The story was unbelievably predictable, overly cliched, and just trite. The sweet nothings that Justin croons to Candy are so corny and cheesy any real woman would have upturned a drink over his head or walked away in scorn. But of course Candy eats these lines up because she and Justin are just as empty headed and dull witted as the author.

Despite this book being labeled as a “paranormal romance” there really wasn’t anything romantic about these stories as they were far too ludicrous to be taken seriously. As for the paranoraml, really if you don’t keep reminding the readers that they’re reading fantasy fiction it’s easy to forget. If you’re considering picking up this book for the hot and steamy action that it is lauded to contain, don’t waste your time. I’m jealous really, it seems all those reviewers and fans that left the rave reviews read another book of similar title because this certainly wasn’t the same book I read. To conclude, I am truly glad I got this through a bookswap and that I did not have to spend money on this. This book did not fall short of expectations nor did it start off well and sputter to a stop. It didn’t even get past the starting line.

Do I recommend this novel? Only if you plan on forcing hardened criminals to read it while wearing a tutu or you’re just the type to enjoy cheap dime store romance fiction.

Joana’s rating: